We not only print the results, we predict them -- kinda.

Three staffers have the lead in The Eagle's NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Sweet 16 Prognosticator Panel, but the two writers who cover the sport are not among them.

Mike Albin, the paper's vice president of Internet and new ventures, editor Donnis Baggett and publisher Jim Wilson had a sizzling first week at 38-10. The trio of Eagle representatives have a one-game lead over Brian Scott, general manager of Derek Scott's Auto Park.

"Usually, when in the lead you graciously praise your fellow leaders," Jim said. "In this case, I bow my head in shame. The bright spot is being one up on Brian Scott."

Brian says he accepts having Donnis and Mike ahead of him, but Jim's efforts earned a red flag.

"I do not know about Mike or Donnis, but how many brackets did you let Jim Wilson fill out?" Brian said. "I did not know that a country boy like him knew where UCLA was."

Jim doesn't know where UCLA is -- or what the letters stand for, for that matter. He picked UCLA because he was a big fan of Man From U.N.C.L.E. and got his acronyms confused.

Come of think of it, he does look a little like Mr. Waverly (played by Leo G. Carroll).

FYI, Jim filled out 16 brackets. He thought that's what Sweet 16 meant.

Also, The Eagle's investigative reporters are checking into allegations that Mike, Donnis and Jim are taking part in a federally funded research project at A&M into the effects of memory vitamins on middle-aged males.

Mike said he didn't recall taking part in it, which sounds an awful lot like Roger Clemens' recent testimony on Capitol Hill.

Could Mike be on steroids? Then again, who isn't?

"Actually, both Jim and I ARE on steroids," Donnis said. "We're both fighting the creeping crud. Hack. Sneeze. Cough. Sniffle."

The picking prowess exhibited by The Eagle executives made the rest of the panel feel sick, specially Richard Croome and yours truly, who are supposed to be experts.

Rich is tied for 13th place. He claims he was fouled trying to make his picks, and sure enough, replays by CBS show that he was. He can watch them over and over this offseason.

I am three picks behind the co-leaders, which will make it tough on me to defend the title I shared last year with former A&M All-Americans Randy Matson and Shawn Andaya-Pulliam.

I simply haven't been able to spend as much time on the men's portion of March Madness because of the amazing A&M women's team. (OK, so it's an excuse. It feels better than admitting I can't pick games.)

A&M senior forward Katy Pounds, who is tied Rich, has a much better excuse.

Besides being on the A&M women's team, she's also doing graduate work in kinesiology. Pounds worked on a project for six hours last Wednesday, then made her picks before quickly packing a bag for Baton Rouge, La.

Bob Gobin and Joe Wilbert are a pair of former A&M standouts who are tied for fifth place, just two picks out of the lead. They have a chance to slip in there and win.

We apologize for not having Bob's picture to run with last week's chart. We thought we had secured a mug shot, but the post office was unable to let us to use theirs because of federal regulations.

A&M president Elsa Murano had a solid 34-14 start, leaving her in eighth place. Elsa didn't even mention the no-call on A&M's final play against UCLA that cost her a couple of spots in the standings.

Elsa, by the way, is making her own picks. You'd think she'd be tempted to call men's coach Mark Turgeon, but then again, a coach probably shouldn't get involved in picking games.

Of course, with Elsa's connections she might be able to turn to another coach, UCLA's new football coach Rick Neuheisel. He's great with brackets.

Poor Wonder Dog Buddy Cessna could use a little help. He barely avoided the cellar, thanks to David Scott of Derek Scott's Auto Park. David is one game behind Buddy, and the pair will spend the next four days trying to climb out of last place in time for the Final Four.

• Robert Cessna's e-mail address is robert.cessna@theeagle.com.