Spring brings proposals, entering marriage sacrament
By BRUCE CHABOT
What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him. -- John 2:11
"In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love" wrote Tennyson, and you can feel it fixing to bust out all over, right here in Aggieland.
Partly the buzz will be brought out this month by "Saint" Valentine's day, which is not actually about any real saint at all, but rather was created by two Roman siblings, Hershey-Unctuous Valentine and Raviche-le Fleur Valentine, who initiated the custom of exchanging roses and hard little heart-shaped candies. In doing so, they made history and beat out their schoolmate, Turpentine Miscreant, whose suggestions had been small rocks and tree bark as signs of affection.
Also, plenty of young folks will be planning to get hitched in a few months, right after graduation and commissioning. On campus, the Century Tree will be a popular spot.
In my religious tradition, marriage is a sacrament; whether defining it that way or not, most people take it very seriously.
Everybody knows that being married, making the covenant relationship work in the long run for the best fulfillment of both parties, is the point. Getting married, i.e., the frivolity or grandeur of the wedding occasion itself, is but a fleeting anchovy on the pizza of life.
Guys, if I may generalize abominably, don't get inordinately excited about that anchovy because we know what comes after, and it has us so terrified that we cannot think about anything else.
Occasionally one may observe -- if one is a guy -- that women enjoy the excitement of planning a wedding because it challenges their organizational and aesthetic skills, and because they have it all under control, because, unlike us, in any waiting room they don't have to hide the fact that they were interrupted reading Redbook or Modern Bride.
Everybody knows that you will gather your loved ones around you, select a meaningful place, and work out an appropriate ceremony.
What I've been curious about is the proposal/ engagement end of the equation, particularly the ring thing. I've been wondering, for such a spiritual symbol, whether it simply has to be a diamond, like in all the commercials, or whether there is any leeway for personality and creativity. When entering into a spiritual covenant, one shouldn't be tied up by impersonal convention.
Perhaps you've met people who wanted perfectly specific rocks with which to adorn themselves. I used to know a woman who had a beautiful sense of humor about rocks: She said that if the point is to wear something that sparkles, then it needn't matter what the object is made of -- be it "real" or faux or whatever. I call that independent and practical thinking.
The exclusive prejudice toward the diamond ring came about, as did many other habits that we mistake for tradition, with the marketing/ advertising complex of the first half of the twentieth century, which elevated Coke and Rudolph the Reindeer to immortality.
Wanting to find out whether liberty endures in the realm of getting engaged, I went yesterday to a local family jewelry store right here in the Brazos Valley. The staff was very helpful. I asked if a diamond is the only acceptable form of ring, and they assured me that it isn't; and then they showed me some absolutely lovely rings, each with a single gorgeous ruby, or sapphire, or emerald. I saw some rings set with a pearl or other splendid item from God's creation.
I asked whether young swains are pressured into dramatic purchases they can't afford. They told me that couples more often come in together to shop, and that they always work within the customer's budget and never advise anyone to go into debt.
As a religious person, I was happy to confirm that romance, creativity, and respect for the individual continue to grace our spiritual and sacramental lives.