Going into debt for a wedding is no way to start married life. Maxing out credit cards is a bad example to set for the teenager having a bar mitzvah, sweet 16 or quinceanara. And by the time 50th birthdays and golden anniversaries roll around, people know that friends and family matter more than price tags.

Besides, it's easy to have a big, beautiful bash on a budget. Here are eight tips.

Invitations

Thermographed invitations cost 50 to 70 percent less than engraved invitations, "and no one can usually tell," said Alan Fields, co-author with his wife Denise of Bridal Bargains. Or make your own invitations, said Sharon Naylor, author of 1,000 Best Wedding Bargains.

She recommends Mountaincow.com for invitation software and paper (shown in photo), with CDs starting at $30. Or order online from a site like Invitations4 Sale.com, which Naylor said offers 40 percent off of retail prices.

Limit enclosures so you don't go over the 1-ounce maximum for envelopes with a 41-cent stamp. Note that square envelopes and oddly shaped envelopes cost more to mail. Use postcards for the RSVP to save on postage. Or skip reply cards for teen parties and informal weddings; ask for RSVP by e-mail or phone.

For kids' parties, you could even go paperless with e-vites.

Gowns

"Buy online," Fields advised. Online discounters can order name brand-name dresses for 20 to 40 percent off retail, and some wedding dress factories in China have Web sites that will ship gowns direct to consumers for $50 to $100 -- a bargain even with $100 shipping.

Fields' recommendations include Netbride.com, PearlsPlace.com, BlueCatalog.com and JuliusBridal.com.

Robert Brokamp, who writes about personal finance for The Motley Fool said he found a dress for his wife-to-be at David's Bridal, which has 285 stores, for $250. "It was on the discount rack," he said.

Check department stores after prom season: "You might find sophisticated prom dresses that work for a wedding gown," Naylor said.

Flowers and decor

Fields recommends Costco for flowers. Costco's Simply Elegant Wedding Rose Collections (in photo, 40-piece set including bouquets and centerpieces, $760; 20-piece set, $430). Order online for delivery anywhere in the U.S. Hydrangeas and calla lilies are available, too; prices vary.

Naylor noted that the cheapest flowers will be those in season the month you're getting married; that "greenery filler is less expensive than flowers and makes for a beautiful natural look"; and that smaller bouquets show off gowns to greater advantage.

Casey Cooper, co-author of What's Your Bridal Style?, said do-it-yourself brides can learn the basics of designing centerpieces, boutonnieres and bouquets.

Inexpensive ways to dress up tables use candles, bright balloons, wildflowers in jars, potted plants in season -- tulips in spring, mums in fall.

At Congregation Beth Elohim in Brooklyn, N.Y., kids celebrating bar and bat mitzvahs sometimes make centerpieces by filling baskets with nonperishable food for a soup kitchen. Wrap the baskets in colored plastic wrap, add a bow and card about the charity, and you've got a centerpiece that's both beautiful and meaningful.

Drink

Instead of open bar with bartender, have a serve-yourself table with wine, beer and/or champagne. Wine retailers can recommend wines in your price range and often give discounts by the case.

If you opt for the full bar, wedding planner Samantha Goldberg notes that restaurants and hotels charge more for premium brands such as Johnny Walker and Grey Goose. Ask for Smirnoff vodka or house brands for a lower price.

Food

Catered meals with chicken or fish can run 35 percent of your budget, "but if you start getting into filet mignon, prime rib or lobster, you're going to find yourself in the 40 percent bracket," Goldberg said.

Buffets (without table service) are cheaper than sit-down meals. But you might want a server to control portions for pricey items such as smoked salmon, steak or sashimi.

Consider ethnic food. Having a Thai restaurant cater chicken sate -- grilled chicken on a stick -- with pad Thai noodles might cost less than traditional alternatives.

Brokamp, The Motley Fool writer, had his wedding at a relative's home in the countryside where the food was "basically a cookout -- hot dogs and hamburgers."

For birthday or anniversary parties, guests could bring pot-luck food instead of gifts. For teen parties, set up a taco bar yourself or see if a Mexican restaurant will cater one. Other ideas: pizza, 6-foot sub sandwiches or chicken wings.

Cake

Have the cake of your dreams -- only smaller. Then order a sheet cake with the same frosting and flavor, Naylor advised, and have servers plate dessert off the sheet cake in the kitchen.

And forget about a dessert table. Said Fields: "People are eating fewer desserts these days anyway."

He added that fresh flowers "spruce up a plain cake" and cost less than labor-intensive frosting flowers.

Time and place

The most popular months for weddings are May, June, September and October. Daytime events are cheaper than evening, especially if the photographers and disc jockey can leave early enough to make a second gig that night. Naylor said the savings are dramatic: "A daytime wedding in April costs a third of a nighttime wedding in September."

Lunch and brunch food is cheaper than dinner. A midday party can save guests money, too, if they can drive in early and get home that night without needing a hotel.

If you hold the wedding in a private home, park or other venue outside a hotel or restaurant, you might save money ... or not. Research costs like renting tables, chairs, linens, plates, tent for rain, etc.

If the ceremony and reception are in the same place, you won't need a limo and you won't be paying photographers for 20 minutes spent in transit.

Destination weddings are cheaper for two reasons: You combine honeymoon and wedding costs, and fewer people come, Fields said. "For smaller weddings, second weddings, if you fear you're going to have to invite your entire office, if you fear the wedding will spiral out of control, destination weddings are a great way to save money because not everyone can fly off to Bermuda to stand on the beach with you."

Fun, not fancy

Brokamp's 1999 wedding, with 150 guests, cost less than $5,000, thanks to inexpensive choices (the cookout, gown off the discount rack, reception at a sister-in-law's home, old family photos on the tables instead of centerpieces). Others pitched in: Brokamp's mom, who is a florist, did the flowers with the help of other relatives; a friend tended bar; a cousin manned the grill.

"If you want the traditional wedding with all the traditional stuff, you're going to have to pay for it," said Brokamp. "We focused on people having fun rather than people being too fancy."

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