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My 56-year-old eyes aren't what they used to be, because at times Saturday when I scanned the Oklahoma sidelines, I'd have sworn I saw local psychologist Brad Powell, not Sooners head coach Bob Stoops, talking to quarterback Sam Bradford at Kyle Field.
Brad sure has been treating members of The Eagle's 18-mammal Prognosticator Panel the way Stoops treats the Aggies. They both say and do the right thing, then beat your brains out. It's classical conditioning followed by controlled processing.
Stoops would make a great psychologist. After all, he does deal with the media, so he's already schooled in manipulating the mindless.
Brad had the best week again, going 16-4. I've set up a hot key that produces that line; I just have to fill in his record. I want to save as much time as possible when praising the accomplishments of others.
Brad has a six-game lead on the field, and unless he goes Penn State on us, he's almost home free. He's 29 picks ahead of last place.
The BCS computer wouldn't even help us catch Brad at this point. Brad allowed a guest picker to go 9-11 for him while he was on vacation. One other time, he refused to take an extra pick when we miscalculated.
He is even starting to enjoy the celebrity status of leading one of the nation's most cherished picking panels.
"I have to admit this has been an unusual experience for me so far," Brad said. "Strangers come up to me and ask me about my picks ... and my trip!"
If the paparazzi invades the Bryan-College Station area looking for Brad, we're all in trouble. It could happen.
SportsTalk host Chip Howard, meanwhile, believes Brad might show up in Norman, Okla., but not on the Sooners sideline. He thinks Brad will be tagging alongside Tech head coach Mike Leach for next week's showdown. After all, Leach is unbeaten. Stoops has a loss.
"I have asked Lumpy to take Brad Powell with him wherever he goes," said Chip, who has won four or five prog titles, depending on whom you ask. Because it's been so long since he's won a title -- before e-mail and the prevalence of the Internet -- there's a whole generation of B-CS proggers who aren't aware of his greatness. That's fine with Eagle editor Donnis Baggett, the defending champ who is in position to beat Chip for the second straight year.
"I notice that Chip has been mighty quiet lately," Donnis said. "For once, I understand him. I don't want to give the shrinks anything to work with, either."
If the panel's psychologists had to live off those they are picking against, they'd starve.
On a lighter note, J.D. Taylor is only a pick behind Mary Ann Covey in what's shaping up as a heated battle to avoid the basement. At least we know where they can get free psychiatric help.
"I hope their picks for this week reflect just how much either one wants next to last place," counselor Bill Haddock said. "After all, Dwayne has been comfortably in last place all season."
Gee, and Bill considers J.D. a friend. That's the guy I want picking my brain for gold -- or in my case, copper.
Mary Ann is trying to figure out what went wrong so fast.
"The basement, huh?" she said. "I'm pretty sure I dropped faster than the Dow in this panel. I truly believe that Brad needs to go to Vegas and then retire. Me? I should never gamble. I am bad at it. I wish I didn't have such confidence in my picks."
Seriously, the Dow Jones index didn't drop as bad as she did, did it? I can't afford a retirement plan, but Brad's advice sure is looking good.
Still, while Brad might be leading, the majority of the panelists on the top row are journalists. And Eagle sports writers David Campbell and Larry Bowen hopped on Superman's cape and posted 16-4 records. Or maybe in their case, they tripped more than hopped. David's picks differed from Brad's by only two.
Wonder Dog Buddy Cessna had his second straight 13-7 week but didn't move up. Buddy has rebounded from the dog picking days of October as he anticipates feasting on Thanksgiving turkey -- if he lives that long. The mother-in-law's potted plant she thought brightened up the living room didn't when it spread out in about 1,000 pieces because Buddy got bored while it was raining. As I took off my belt, Buddy handed me Brad's business card, saying Buddy's rebellious state was a form of modern expression. Or modern art. It's hard to understand him sometimes.
Fine, maybe he can go live with Brad, which might be good advice for all of us.
Robert Cessna's e-mail address is robert.cessna@theeagle.com.
