By the time you are reading this, I most likely still will not have a Halloween costume. It's a lot of pressure. You see, I messed up several years ago and had a really awesome Halloween costume, and I've been paying the price ever since.

As a child, Halloween was a simple time. I was either a ninja or Ponyboy Curtis from The Outsiders. The requirements weren't demanding and the costumes worked. But, being cool at an extremely young age, I was able to recognize that if you wear the same costume over and over, it gets a little dorky.

Some people tend to take it too far and actually start to assimilate with their portrayed character. I am certain that the people who work in Colonial Williamsburg, at the Renaissance Festival or any era-influenced venue do so because they are either a misguided actor looking for that big, although unlikely, break, or people who took a costume a little too seriously.

So, as much as I hated Socs and wanted to rumble, and as much as I admired and respected ninjas for their ability to fly and cut heads off, I had to retire the costumes. It was painful to refer to my sweatpants as simply "black sweatpants" instead of "ninja pants." It hurt to put away the switchblade comb ... well, actually, I still use the switchblade comb. I mean come on, it's a comb that looks and functions like a switchblade.

But I eventually stopped rolling candy cigarettes in my sleeves and using excessive hair gel with my switchblade comb.

Now some of you may say: "Hey! I've been Dracula for the past five Halloween parties and it's awesome!" No. No, it's not. And, some of you ladies may say: "Hey! I've been a slutty nurse for the past five Halloweens and it's awesome!" Yes, you are correct. You are absolutely correct. Keep up the good work. God bless you.

But with the exception of slutty nurse, slutty maid and slutty Rainbow Brite -- you know, the classics -- there aren't too many repeat costumes one can get away with. For the average person, it's either buy a new costume every year or make one.

Since buying a new costume can get expensive, I've usually gone the creative route and made my own costumes. The first year was the greatest: I was Wind-Blown Man. I just put a coat hanger in a tie, gelled my hair back and walked around as if I were against gale-force winds. It was so good, people I didn't even know came up to me on campus the following week cause they had seen me as Wind-Blown Man. I didn't sign any autographs or anything, but people would point and say "Wind-Blown Man?" and I'd point back and say "Yeah."

It wasn't long after I presented that costume to the world that people started asking what I was going to be the following year. Since then, I've been Foosball Man, Taylor Hicks and Kenny Rogers. All paled in comparison to Wind-Blown Man, (actually Kenny Rogers was pretty cool, but the beard was real itchy).

Last year I couldn't think of anything so I just wrote the word "Awesome" on a T-shirt and wore that out. It was less than awesome.

So as Halloween draws closer, I frantically search and scheme for the next costume to make me mildly famous, as in: "Did you see that guy in the ______?" But, if all else fails, I still have my ninja pants.

* If you have a suggestion for a totally awesome costume, please send it to jesse.wright@theeagle.com, but only if it is really totally awesome.

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Posted by: On: 10/30/2008

Comment Title: my costume tops yours
One year I was the kid from Jerry Maguire. Top that Taylor Hicks!!!!

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