The year is almost over and for most entertainment writers that means lists, lists and more lists. Movie critics thrive on year-end lists like ticks on a dog.
Being an indecisive neurotic afraid to commit anything to an ordered hierarchy, I tend to avoid lists like I avoid spoof movies starring Carmen Electra.
Instead of rating my favorite movies of the year and risk sounding like a putz for leaving off a film that I have not had a chance to see yet, I'm going to continue my annual tradition of giving awards (the Reel Dealies, to be exact) out to the best and worst film-related fluff of the last year.
The Buy These Guys Some Boxers Award
This year unfortunately has turned out to be a popular year for male full-frontal nudity in comedies. While it may be fair for the ladies to get a peak at some flesh every now and then, I can't say I've had a blast staring at the junk of such comedians as Jason Segal (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and Jason Mewes (Zach and Miri Make a Porno).
From the full-frontal dudity in Sex in the City: The Movie to Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, I, for one, have had my fill of male genitalia splashed across the big screen for one year.
Most Unrealistic Ending in a Movie
Spoiler alert -- the threat in M. Night Shyamalan's film The Happening turns out to be nature itself. Apparently tired of being treated like mere shrubbery, plants begin to release a toxin that is fatal to humanity.
At the end of the movie, the treat dissipates and mankind begins to adapt to the ever-present danger of plant-based doom. I'm sorry, M. Night, but if mankind was ever put in any real danger by a bunch of trees, you can bet your bottom dollar that there would be an increase in chainsaws, weed killer and napalm.
If we've learned one thing form 9/11, it's that America does not take terrorist threats lying down. Within a year, you could be assured that the president would be authorizing troops to occupy the Amazon. Hide in as many caves or spider-holes as you want Mother Nature, Uncle Sam is gonna get you and dowse you with enough chemicals to give Bill Nye pause.
Most Underrated Superhero Movie
In the year that comic book movies such as Iron Man and The Dark Knight became commercial and critical successes, earning spots on those ever-present year-end critic's lists, one superhero movie has unfairly been left forgotten.
And no, I'm not talking about Superhero Movie.
Hellboy II was not a perfect film -- but it was a dang fine one. Director Guillermo Del Toro did an amazing job combining the visual splendor of Pan's Labyrinth with a tightened, more engaging plot than his original attempt at the character in Hellboy.
Stunning creature designs and the always-likable Ron Pearlman made the film a perfect summer popcorn flick. Unfortunately, this was the summer of The Dark Knight -- hands down one of the best superhero films ever made. Lost in the shuffle of batwings and clown makeup, Hellboy II failed to find its audience in theaters. Hopefully it will be rediscovered as it continues its life on home video and cable networks.
* Robert Saucedo will present the second half of 2008's Reel Dealies next week. In the meantime, e-mail him at Robsaucedo2500@yahoo.com to let him know what movies you liked or didn't like this year.
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