Things that cost exactly one dollar are not usually things you need: lottery tickets, double cheeseburgers, figurines of two dolphins playing checkers. These are all little pleasures, but what do they really get you? Disappointment, obesity and a knock-down drag-out fight over why the figurine can't go in the living room.

Sometimes the "just a dollar" mentality can even be dangerous. I've been to many a bachelor party where "just a dollar" turned into "just eating Ramen noodles" for weeks afterward. I once had a stuffed Scooby-Doo that cost me approximately 50 "just-a-dollar" attempts to win at a carnival. Even "just a dollar" a hole can get pretty steep when you're "just not very good at golf."

So that was my jaded outlook as I walked the streets of Santa Monica, Calif., on vacation earlier this summer.

All around were people who wanted my dollar. Whether they were selling trinkets made of hemp or dancing or singing or just sitting there unshaved and dirty, they all wanted a dollar.

I was not going to let these slick city folk take advantage of me. I avoided eye contact and walked with my money clutched in my hand, jammed deep in my pocket.

I actually was resolved to give one dollar away, but I had yet to find the hemp bracelet itchy enough or a panhandler's sign clever enough to earn it. There was one point -- when I came across a 10-year-old kid in a gold tuxedo breakdancing -- that I started to pull my dollar out. But when I saw that his moonwalk consisted of him just walking backward and his pop-and-lock neither popped nor locked, I quickly stuffed it back and went on my way.

I had almost given up when I came across a 300-pound man standing next to a sign that simply said "$1" and nothing more. I was intrigued. The price was right, but what did he have to offer? Then he turned and I saw a little monkey wearing overalls.

Giddy with excitement I rushed up to the man and presented him my crumpled, sweaty dollar bill.

"Don't give it to me, give it to the monkey," he said.

I crouched down and reached out with the dollar in hand. He grabbed it and stuffed it in the front pocket of his overalls and then extended his little monkey paw to me. I shook his hand and I wanted that handshake to never end. In fact, the monkey had to pull away because there was no way I was letting go first.

I walked away from that monkey empty-handed, but with a sense of satisfaction that I could never get from two tacos or a Jumbo Jack. The memory of that handshake still makes me smile.

Best dollar I ever spent.

• The Wright Stuff appears in Spotlight every other week. E-mail Jesse Wright at jesse.wright@theeagle.com.

Comments

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5 comment(s) found!

Posted by: Pris On: 7/31/2008

Comment Title: The best dollar I ever spent
You get funnier with every article. I wonder where you get it?

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Posted by: On: 7/29/2008

Comment Title:
where does this guy come up with this stuff...pretty funny

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Posted by: DiscoDave On: 7/28/2008

Comment Title: Hmmm...
I don't know, two tacos are pretty good.

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Posted by: George On: 7/24/2008

Comment Title: All things good!
Shaking a monkey's hand is definitely considered all things good. 10 times a funny because I was there.

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Posted by: Zach B On: 7/24/2008

Comment Title: Just a dollar
Priceless

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