Last week Michael Jackson turned 50. For starters, that just seems weird, since it doesn't really seem like we've had that dude around for half a century. Second, I guess it seems strange that he's still alive and not cryogenically frozen somewhere in his Neverland compound.
When I first read this news and perused the corresponding photos and video clips of Jackson taken recently it was difficult to connect this odd, alien child-man with the super-badness Michael displayed in his run from 1968 through 1991: He was a part of the first real teen music group, then later was the penultimate solo artist of the 1980s, if not ever.
There is an entire generation of Spotlight readers who only know Michael Jackson as that ultra-bleached freak show who was once famous for something or another. As a true child of the 1980s, it's easy for me to remember when Michael Jackson ruled the world.
I was seven the year Thriller was released, but I already knew the name Michael Jackson, mainly because I had older cousins who were big disco fans and were very much into Michael's first post-Jackson 5 solo album, Off the Wall. So when I first saw the video for Billie Jean on MTV in 1982 I knew who this dude was. But boy, was I unprepared for the impact that man would make.
For starters, I don't recall ever owning Thriller as a kid. I don't think I really needed to, because his videos were all over MTV and Friday Night Videos, his songs all over Top 40 radio and played on most of my friends' turntables and cassette decks. Seven of the album's nine tracks charted on the Top 10 singles charts.
It was everywhere. Everyone I knew liked at least one song on the album. If you liked to dance you dug the hard-steppin' Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'; if you were a rocker you got that tasty Eddie Van Halen guitar solo in Beat It; if you were tender and needed a song to dedicate to your sweetheart you got P.Y.T.; and if you had paternity questions with a pregnant ex then Billie Jean was certainly for you.
Then there was the image that went with Thriller. Everyone wanted the glove, the socks, the red many-zippered leather jacket, the pennyloafers ... I must admit that even your humble columnist had the glittery socks. The Pepsi commercial, the Jacksons Victory tour, etc. It was like the entertainment world's sun rose and set with Michael Jackson.
Of course, the backlash was profound, and in all fairness, Michael Jackson gave plenty of grist for the mill. To say Michael Jackson seemed to be a complete freaky maladroit is like saying gravity seems to be permanent. The cosmetic surgery, the pet monkeys and then later the child rape accusations -- Jackson's offstage antics have almost entirely undermined his musical and cultural legacy. It's hard to believe it, younguns, but Michael Jackson used to look somewhat normal and was a dancing, singing, record-selling badass.
If you don't believe me, cruise on over to YouTube and watch the video for Thriller. Ah, those were the days.
Happy birthday, Mike.
• Kelly Minnis is a freelance music journalist, KEOS DJ, musician and father of two. E-mail him at kellyminnis@gmail.com.