There’s beer flowing at Kyle Field, sore fans in Baton Rouge and a Texas quarterback under an odd attack. Here’s a playlist of songs that relate to A&M, an old rival and the SEC.
The Auctioneer by Leroy Van Dyke (1956): Not many of us knew prior to Jimbo Fisher’s arrival at Texas A&M just how fast he talks. He can fly, and that impressive speed may be unmatched among football coaches. He probably could have made one hell of an auctioneer. (Good call, Coach.)
Lyrics: “He’d stand and listen carefully / Then pretty soon he began to see / How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly / He said, ‘Oh my, it’s do or die / I’ve got to learn that auction cry / Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer’ / ... And the people came from miles around / Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound / That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer.”
Army of Me by Bjork (1995): Sure, it’s a smidge obvious, but the name similarity between the A&M athletic director and the avant-garde Icelandic singer is a bit unusual. This great driving track could be considered a tough motivation tune from the new Aggie boss. Heck, play it at Kyle Field each week. It’s better than If You’re Gonna Play in Texas (You Gotta Have a Fiddle in the Band).
Lyrics: “You’re all right / There’s nothing wrong / Self-sufficient, please / And get to work / And if you complain once more / You’ll meet an army of me.”
I’m Down by The Beatles (1965): Aggie fans are well-versed in heartbreaking losses. That’s what made the 74-72 seven-overtime win over LSU so gratifying. So we can sympathize, Tiger fans. That was a tough one. (A bonus connection to this Beatles tune: “I’m down” could also refer to Kellen Mond’s knee, which hit the ground before he threw an interception with 36 seconds left in the fourth quarter. The drive continued, and the Aggies scored with no time remaining and tied the game to begin the long overtime odyssey.)
Lyrics: “I’m down (I’m really down) / I’m down (down on the ground) / I’m down (I’m really down) / How can you laugh when you know I’m down?”
Mean by Taylor Swift (2010): It must have been strange for the Texas quarterback to get word that he had been dissed by a Hall of Famer. In June, NFL commentator Terry Bradshaw lashed out at Texas stacking up top-rated quarterback recruits. (Bradshaw’s alma mater, Louisiana Tech, takes on Texas to start the season.) “He ain’t that good,” Bradshaw said of Ehlinger, though he didn’t call him by name. “You watch them throw the football and you go, man alive — like they go there and they can’t throw the football.” Defending Longhorn players is an unfamiliar feeling, but that’s a 15-yard penalty for unnecessary cattiness.
Lyrics: “And I can see you years from now in a bar / Talking over a football game / With that same big loud opinion / But nobody’s listening / Washed up and ranting / About the same old bitter things / … But all you are is mean.”
Alcohol at Kyle Field
Ready for the End of the World by George Strait (2005): The grand experiment of beer and wine being served through much of Kyle Field is upon us. Maybe the critics are right, and it will be a disaster. Maybe it will discourage binge-drinking at tailgate parties and booze-smuggling into the stadium. Or maybe it’s much ado about nothing, and we should all take a deep breath.
Lyrics: “I know the end is near / I’ve seen the warning signs / Been preparin’ myself / Layin’ in supplies / I bought a case of Jack / A box set of Merle / I’m gettin’ ready / Ready for the end of the world.”
Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) by Backstreet Boys (1997): “Texas is back, folks!” That’s what ESPN’s Joe Tessitore breathlessly declared after the Longhorns beat Notre Dame in 2016. Yep, back to a 5-7 record by the end of the year, which was enough to send coach Charlie Strong packing. To the Longhorns’ credit, their 10-4 record in 2018 was their best since 2009, back when Mack Brown was in charge. Are the Longhorns truly back? Like back-with-Mack back? Or just Backstreet’s-back back? Let’s just picture Tom Herman lip-syncing this in the mirror.
Lyrics: “Oh my God, we’re back again / Brothers, sisters, everybody sing / Gonna bring the flavor, show you how / Got a question for you, better answer now / … Everybody / Rock your body right / Backstreet’s back, all right.”