I'm a terrible blogger. My wife celebrated a birthday last month, and I failed to follow the proper blogging protocol by marking the occasion with a list of the 38 things I love most about her. (I picked the number 38 for no reason whatsoever, by the way.)

I'm sure it was a huge disappointment to her that I didn't publicly pay tribute to her big day. But a list of the 38 things I love most about her just didn't seem sufficient.

So, in an attempt to put a little extra frosting on the birthday cake I have yet to make, I've decided to post a short list of things about my wife that I considered blogging about, but decided against -- for now.

Here they are:

• My 38 favorite nicknames for the wife. (Who -- besides the wife -- thinks BIG MAMA won't look great on personalized license plates?)

• 38 photos of the wife making funny faces. (I still might do this one.)

• The 38 things the wife loves most about me. (This one has all sorts of potential.)

• A video of 38 mood swings in 38 seconds.

• 38 ways to apologize to the wife, with varying effectiveness, without really knowing what you're apologizing for. I'm sorry about this whole post, dear, but it is part of my job.

So there you have it: Proof that the best gifts can sometimes be the things you decide not to do.

Happy 38th unknown number of years birthday, Big Mama.

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